Hard Learned Korean Mannerisms, Korean Government, and Cultural Reflections

Hi all(the hundreds of people that read this blog)!

Korean mannerisms are surprisingly hard to get a grasp on, even when you live in Korea, because they are sometimes contradictory, many Koreans are not aware that what others might call 'mannerisms' are specific to Koreans, and if you ask about such a topic few people will give you a completely accurate answer as they may try to be 'polite'. 

Luckily a new teacher at my work place is a self described western-korean cultural hybrid and has been forthright about the topic!  So, for anyone that ever makes their way here to Korea, here are some useful tidbits. 

-the word 'no' doesnt quite exist.  It is considered extremely rude to ever say no!  Instead, people will say sorry, or they will say yes but show some signs of hesitation and use a specific tone.  I had previously beleived that koreans were prone to inviting people out for various events but not following through - as if inviting people out for things that they had no intention of carrying through was a normal polite exchange.  In reality what has been happening is that when I have used a regular tone or thought for a second before answering ('do I have time for that?' 'Is there anything else I need to do'? ect...) people have generally assumed this to mean 'NO! I do not want to go to your party or have dinner with you'!!  If you actually want to accept an invitation you must use an overly happy and excited tone and show little hesitation.  It seems a bit silly to me, but thats how works!  The same general idea applies to answering questions about likes/dislikes and other opinions.  If you want to show that you sincerely like a meal for example, you must be really enthusiastic when you say it is delicious. What a pain!  Can't you see I'm busy stuffing my face!  I don't have time to show enthusiasm about the food im savagly devouring-unless i talk with my mouth full...  Yep, eating very fast and talking with your mouth full are also fine (although woman of the same age or younger than the company tend not to talk with their mouths full). 

-Peoples problems are not considered 'personal'.  Whereas in North America it might be considered very rude or perhaps akward to openly tell strangers all kinds of 'personal' things, that is not the case here.  People will comfortably tell you things like 'I have no friends', 'I'm lazy', or even 'I'm a mean person'.  People will talk about some very personal things and, from what I can tell, appear to be fairly comfortable talking about them.

-Observations are not much more than that...usually.  Expect to hear things like 'you look tired', 'you look thin', and perhaps even 'you are fat' although being a bit thin myself i cant say ive ever heard anyone use that last one.

-asside from mannerisms, people are really the same here as they are in North America or, I would like to believe, as anywhere else in the world.  Everyone has their own individuality, their own unique personality, their own tastes, different senses of humor, insecurities, strenghts, people are sensetive, people are social, and yadda yadda yadda. 

About the Korean government:
Since I have been in Korea the following web sites have been blocked pending the input of a social security number: Wikipedia, Myspace, Merriam-Webster, IMDB, and some blogs.  This is absurd!  Strangely enough, without divulging too much, some websites that should have definately been blocked have not been! 

The government does alot to 'protect' Korea.  Manys sports teams are subsidised.  Trade barriers are extensive and cover some markets that make no sense; for example I read that it was not possible to import any products with live bacteria (dairy products namely) untill 2000!  Even today, if not blocked, there are steep tariffs on lots of imported food goods.  This makes no sense for some products, like cheese or good bread: there is NO market for them, so if imports are allowed, a market may develope, and this should be economically beneficial...

Porn and prostitution are illegal but walk around any night life distrit and there are fliers, buildings laden with pictures of geishas, and sometimes 'massuses' peddling their services all over the place and in plain sight.  Similarly, there are all kinds of 'black market' stores that sell illegaly imported products (usually they can be found near US miliraty bases - I think you can understand how the good get into the country).  Smoking is also banned in numerous public places, but that doesnt stop people from smoking like chimneys.  I dont really know the thinking behind these contradictions, but a newspaper article i read today may provide some insigt:  when asked about enforcing public smoking bans by an expat audience at a convention, a police official responded something along the lines of 'make a report if it is bothering oyu and we will take action'.  In other words, the police can witness small crimes, black market shops, prostitution, and whatnot, but if no one seems to mind than no aciton is taken.  I think this may be a bit naive, especially considering how passive Koreans can be even when they are uncomfortable or unhappy.

There are no public trash cans anywhere!  Sometimes they can be found in subways...sometimes.  The logic is that if public trash cans are put out that people will throw away their trash in these public cans and the government will have to foot the bill.  Instead what happens is that people throw their trash onto the street, usually on curbs or sometimes on planter boxes.  Then, every day, armies of city workers with brooms and big dust pans descend upon the city and sweep up all the trash!  From an economic perspective, this makes no sense at all...

Toilet paper in public restrooms is sometimes on big rolles OUTSIDE of the stalls!  Needless to say, this has the potential to lead to some very uncomfortable situations.


But thats enough reflecting for now, my eyeballs are about to fall out of their sockets....although that could be from the rare flesh eating disease I caught.... At any rate, cheers, ill blab more later. 

Pictures! Yahy!

 A random helipad on top of a mountain

 A burial mound near Seoul Theological University

 Who doesn't love 'BOOBY'! -The long eared Winnie the Pooh rip off...

Yes, I used it once.  I will never use it again - its just waaaay to awkward.

 With a name like 'Morning Glory', I can only think of one thing to use these tissues for...

 Gary!  This one is for you!  Come to this eatery in Itaewon, where 'every night ladies' night'!  Itaewon is like the Toronto of Korea - there are more foreigners than there are native Koreans.

 Anyone for 'Halloween Sexy Party'?

 Its hard to tell, but on the right hand side of this sign are little pictures of campers doing irresponsible things such as leaving a campfire still burning and throwing a burning cigarette butt on the ground.  To the left is a picture of a child crying with a forest burning in the background. I can't read Korean yet, but I imagine this says something along the lines of: don't be a careless jerk of a camper because you will start forest fires, destroying national bio-treasure, and that will make children cry. 

 I ran into this awesome tidbit in the marketplace by my apartment. Fresh honeycomb complete with honey, live bees, and bee larva!

 A long distance archery range.

A chestnut next to its broken spikey outer shell.  These things are everywhere and I saw a few people collecting them.

The Market

I live in a small apartment building directly beside the 'number one' train, which can bring me to the airport or to the capital, Seoul, depending on which direction I take it.  In my first week here I decided to explore the city on the other side of the tracks a bit and was wonderfully surprised when, in the process of crossing the tracks, the sidewalk I was on dipped down a large flight of stairs into a bustling marketplace!  The market is essentially a long alleyway, maybe a good 5-10 minute hike, with a half cylinder glass roof stretching its length and shops lining left and right.  These shops all have big metal pull up/down doors which are used to safeguard merchandise when vendors close up shop for the night.  All shops unpack their stores every morning so that their goods spill into the alleyway on wooden boxes, tables, and sometimes just blankets. You can find just about everything at this market: Produce, live seafood, butcher's shops, preserved and packaged goods, shoes, clothing, umbrellas, toys, restaurants, coffee wagons,  and there is even a pet store. 

But by far, the most awesome thing about the market, is that you can find many strange edibles.  I have found leafy greens and fruits I have never seen before, butterfly chrysalises, every part of the animal - including whole BBQ pigs heads -, 'mud fish', eels, lots of live crabs, barks, strange roots, dozens of types of Kim Chi (Spiced fermented cabbage), and most recently chunks of honeycomb with live bees and bee larva included!  I will try to make make a video of the place sometime... 

The market is always cheaper than the massive shopping centers, which deserve a post all to themselves some time.  Plus, at the market, although there is the occasional gagging stench of rotting fish, at least you don't have to put up with this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNPLVOk-nj8

The oddness of ALWAYS being 'nice'

Before coming to Korea I read lots and lots about the cultural perception of what is and is not socially acceptable, rude, and polite in Korea.  On my second day here I went out to eat with an office worker from my 'Hagwon' (Private School) named 'Eddy'.  Over a sizzling stir fry, which was cooked on a pan built right into the dining table, I told Eddy about the things I had read concerning politness in Korea and asked him if they were all true.  I figured he would have something to say that was worth hearing as I had already witnessed him defy a couple 'polite practice'.  Namely, he poured his own drink before he poured mine and he neglected to use two hands when passing me a bowl and chopsticks, both considered impolite things to do based on what I had read.

"No, it's ok" he ejaculated, "You don't have to".  I responded by saying something along the lines of "Ah, what I read must have been wrong" to which he gave a nervous laugh and replied "Yes". 

 Only much later, after having been assured that I need not observe the cultural practices I had read about, did I have another more meaningful discussion at my Hagwon with an Phillipino English teacher and a couple of her students.  Janice, the teacher, explained to me that Koreans always say yes to you, no matter if they understand you or agree with you.  This was a trait I had begun to be suspicious of myself...  Furthermore, a student with the English name Julie went on to explain that when someone asks you for your opinion in Korea, it is standard practice to always reply nicely.  Nicely meaning, you always agree, you always compliment, and you always positively reassure. 

For example, if I were to sport a pair of ass-less leather chaps and ask a coworker or a friend about how they looked, they would always reply that the ass-less chaps looked good on me, were stylish, ect...  If I asked whether or not they would be publicly acceptable in Korea, I would be reassured that they were fine.  The only people who might tell me otherwise would be elders, having earned an esteemed status with their aging, or a boss of mine, being an authority figure. 

Lesson learned.  I now strictly abide by what I have read on blogs and forums concerning politeness in Korea.  If these mannerisms do not elicit friendly responses, than empathy will usually do, as a warm smile and gleeful disposition will often be replied to in kind - this is true no matter where you are in the world. 

The Korean Landscape

The Korean landscape around Bucheon looks as if a continentally proportioned bucket of dirty water was dumped across the landscape and that, where the water came to rest, cityscape grew.  This leaves every hill and mountaintop resembling an unspoiled island rising up from a sea of buildings and streets.  However, a climb up one of these islands reveals hiking trails, which are scattered with Korean women all wearing the same visor and the same jogging jacket, 'exercise parks', which are really just excuses for older Koreans to goof around on playground-esque equipment, and strange open air buildings and courtyards which appear to serve no purpose.  The areas not occupied by these recreational developments are utilized by farmers to grow squash, beans, persimmons, and cucumbers.  Furthermore, at each mountaintop I have visited, there is a derelict military instillation surrounded by chain link fence that is topped with barbed wire.  In one instance, the formidable appearance of the fence is moked by a gap so wide in the main gate that a cow could pass through.  Hence, despite the illusion of unspoiled mountaintops, every bit of land as far as the thick smog will let you see has been plotted, divided, and developed.  In this part of Korea there is no wilderness.

does this dang thing work or do i gotta kick it a few times!?